The Coach’s Corner Newsletter #87
The family in which I grew up wasn’t always direct. Here’s a scene from our dinner table. Rather than asking for the butter, which my father clearly wanted to apply to his biscuit, he would look at the person sitting closest to the butter.
Lois, would you like some butter?
In my youth, I would say no thank you and continue with the meal. Over the years, we all came to understand that when he made such a request, he wanted the butter.
Being vague is a habit that many of us implement in our work and life, considering it more polite than just coming out and being clear. But in an article written by Brene Brown, that I refer to frequently in coaching and conversation, she writes,
Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind…most of us avoid clarity because we tell ourselves that we’re being kind, when what we’re actually doing is being unkind and unfair.
This is why receiving a vague instruction can be so frustrating, because often you don’t know what you’re being asked to do.
I’d like to offer a few ways to scrape off the veneer from an obscure message and give your communication the clear shine it deserves.

THIS WEEK’S INSIGHT
Want to communicate clearly?
In this series on how you show up as a leader, we explored how to lead with curiosity. If you missed that piece, check it out. Today we move to the second key leadership characteristic: communicating clearly.
Nearly every week, I work with executive leaders who want to improve how they communicate with their staffs, teams, within their orgs or at home with their families.
When they share that their message isn’t coming across as they intended, we unpack how they’re expressing information. Frequently they discover that what they’re trying to communicate is vague, complicated and sounds like an inside strategy. Without understanding the backstory, their team misses the bulk of the direction. The result? Their team has no clear path forward because they’re stuck trying to figure out the expectation of their leader, and they’re unsure how to approach them for more clarification.
So, how do you get more clear?
First, make sure you know the message you want to share. This isn’t a puzzle for your team to figure out. Address a specific area of focus and let that be the target that everyone can hear clearly.
Second, read the room. Seriously! Observe who’s around you and what matters to them. Do they have what’s necessary to receive your clear communication? It’s easier to set expectations when you’ve laid everything out clearly.
Third, be straightforward. When you share your idea/presentation/direction – be concise. Stick to the topic at hand and lean into your expertise in the matter. If anyone has any questions, they’ll ask. Avoid tangents 🙂
THIS WEEK’S TOOL
Define a message, know your audience, keep it simple

My takeaway
Being concise is a skill I learned to master in Forensics (speech and debate) in high school and college. One of the categories in which I competed was Impromptu speech where you’re handed three topics. You get three minutes to decide what you’re going to say, then you deliver a five-minute speech.
There were three speech formats I would use for the topic I selected:
- Intro/three points/conclusion
- Intro/past-present-future/conclusion
- Intro/problem-solution/conclusion
If you’re looking for an exercise on how to get right to the point, this is another great way to narrow down your focus.
Being clear is all about the message. Own it. Know it. Share it.
Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.
Brene Brown
Next week: connecting with others.