The Coach’s Corner Newsletter #86
With the array of information at your fingertips – have you noticed how challenging it can be to remain curious?
Instead of measuring, I can put the equation into an AI bot. Rather than calling a vendor, I read a series of reviews online. If I’m not sure my question will be received well in a group meeting – I offer it to the chat first to see if anyone agrees. The underlying fear? If I’m curious, it might reveal I don’t know the answer.
To remind me of the power of curiosity, I hang around little ones.
- They don’t know what’s on the other side of that door – and they choose to investigate.
- They don’t know how to read, yet, and they tell me the story anyway.
- They don’t know the best way to design a track, they simply build.
So, I return to the definition of curiosity:
A strong desire to know or learn something.
As I partner with leaders through my work as an executive coach and mentor, this characteristic of curiosity lends itself to the wisest people (of all ages) that I know.
THIS WEEK’S INSIGHT
Lead with curiosity
Demonstrating leadership, wherever you are in your work and life journey, is a significant and humbling endeavor. Some do it better than others, as you’ve experienced.
What sets apart those leaders who bring others alongside them, thrive in the process and are in demand for their expertise?
Here are the three most consistent traits I’ve observed: they’re curious, they communicate clearly, and they are filled with energy to connect as they build, maintain and incorporate relationships.
We begin with curiosity.
Here’s how leaders who are curious show up:
- You’re interested in the other person.
- You’re not distracted.
- You listen as this person shares their thoughts and ideas.
- You don’t interrupt.
- You ask clarifying and/or open-ended questions like how/what/where?
- You consider what you hear.
- You invite participation.
Curiosity implies there is more to learn. Those leaders who are willing to be present, listen and ask questions acknowledge they don’t have all the answers.
THIS WEEK’S TOOL
Be present, listen, ask questions
Think back to a time in your life when there was something you wanted to learn how to do, or a person you wanted to understand or a challenge that you wanted to face.
How did you do that?
Most likely – you became curious. As a leader, step into that unknown territory and accept you may not have the answer, yet. Then, work through these three steps:
- Be present – notice your surroundings and the people in the room.
- Listen – without distraction or interruption, hear what someone has to say.
- Ask questions – wonder out loud, based on what you observe.
My takeaway
I recall a key ‘aha’ moment that occurred one afternoon with my son, after I blurted something out simply to keep the conversation going.
Mom, you know the answer to that question – ask me something else.
He was right, it wasn’t a genuine question, it didn’t make good use of our time together and it made me sound like I was testing him.
This is the danger of asking a question if you already know the answer. Being curious, on the other hand, is a way to lead, learn and grow – without having the answer.
Your greatest teachers aren’t the ones who know the most. They’re the ones who want to know the most.
Adam Grant
Next week: clear communication.
