The Coach’s Corner Newsletter #95
Crazy day. Crazy week. Crazy month.
You’ve heard it, maybe said it, maybe are living through it right now. And why wouldn’t you? Everywhere you turn, your colleagues or leaders or elected officials are moving at such breakneck speed, what else can you do?
As it turns out, there is something. Short of stopping and moving to a small island somewhere and chilling, there might be another option.
Hitting the wall because you’re doing too much can result in health complications that can seriously impact your mind and body. With three adult sons, who incorporate a great deal of physical activity into their lives, I’m well aware of the value of significant bursts of energy followed by downtime.
The more I’m hearing from clients about their desire to possibly leave their roles because they’re nearing burnout – the more I’m recognizing the importance of using pacing skills. Skills that might offer someone a chance to live as they choose, with some stress, but not stress that feels like they’re stretched to capacity.
I’d like to share how one client is facing this challenge and how I am leaning into the work of a medical writer and clinician who offers science-backed pacing skills anyone can implement.
THIS WEEK’S INSIGHT
Pace yourself
From the moment Ann hopped on the call, she shared her anxiety was running higher than ever.
I don’t like loose ends. So after returning from vacation, I’m looking at hundreds of emails and feel that if I don’t answer every single one that’s important, I will fail!
We remained in silence for what seemed like a very long ten or so seconds.
OK, no one actually is saying I’ll fail. It’s my own inner calculator. I feel like I have to get back to my normal timeline/volume.
I wondered aloud,
If you’re not hearing any complaints from those who’ve made requests, what is it that’s bringing up this pressure for you right now?
I need to find my own mechanism to not panic.
What might that look like?
Don’t tell me to slow down. If I relax it would be the end of my development.
This insight allowed us to move forward. Using Byron Katie’s Four Questions in “The Work,” Ann started by challenging her thoughts.
From that point, we wondered how she might consider pacing herself at work, especially after returning from a vacation. Just using the word ‘pace,’ Ann shared how her husband knows how to pace himself and that day had agreed to pick up the kids, because she felt too stressed.
That’s when Ann had what she called, an epiphany.
You won’t believe this. I’ve had random 15 minute breaks to manage a severe back issue on my calendar for the past 6 months. Because I was so stressed out, I deleted them. It’s time to put them back.
THIS WEEK’S TOOL
How to get out of the vicious cycle of doing too much
When I read the words of the late psychologist, Dr. Will Joel Friedman, I knew the pacing skills he offered were important to share.
Pacing skills permit us to maintain the range of productive living at a level of optimal stress. Although they are highly underrated in our society, pacing skills are essential for maximizing our personal and environmental resources when we face our emotional, mental, social, and especially physical limitations.
These skills might help you to maximize individual effectiveness, with more being accomplished and less boredom or elevated pain. Please check out his full article, “The art of pacing – live long and prosper.”
- Find the proper speed or pace for doing each activity (some people or activities operate better going slower, some faster).
- Break down larger, long-term goals into smaller, short-term goals to accomplish over several hours, days, weeks, or even months.
- Know when not to do the activity and either delegate, hire someone, or go without it.
- Take breaks, recesses, and time-outs, especially when engaged in a high risk, actively taxing or strenuous activity.
- Check in with you on physical, emotional and mental levels, as often as warranted by the nature of the activity, and follow through by making needed adjustments.
- Set a recent, realistic and workable standard to compare yourself to. Make sure to compare you only with you, and then only within the last year.
- Modulate your levels of stimulation from both your external and internal environments to stay well clear of being flooded or put to sleep.
My takeaway
In reading these brilliant ways to be mindful of when I’m getting out of control with too much on my plate, I’m reminded that every one of us has a set of responsibilities, challenges, opportunities and places to find meaning.
When those pressures take over my thoughts and thwart my ability to move forward, because I am stressing about x, y or z, it’s time to breathe, ground myself and pause.
Then, as Dr. Friedman suggests, adopt these skills and see what happens.
For me, I notice that I am less stressed, liberated to release an activity and to be realistic with what I know I can handle.
One step at a time.
There is more to life than increasing its speed.
Mahatma Gandhi
