Feeling annoyed? You’re not alone

The Coach’s Corner Newsletter #98

I don’t have to venture far to find someone who’s annoyed or who’s annoying me.

• The amazing irrigation guy who saved our yard from a damaging leak but forgot to reset the controls.
• The waitress who delivered a wrong order then dropped the food as she rushed to take it away.
• The toddler at the playground who’s furious that she can’t run as fast as the bigger kids, so she screams in frustration.
• Or a colleague who takes credit for your work and seems oblivious to the impact on you.

It’s this final annoyance, shared in various ways by several clients, that drew me to a Kickresume survey conducted last year.

With the aim of spotlighting daily office frustrations,

…the survey of 2,894 employees uncovered the most annoying coworker behaviors and offered insight into how people manage — or wish they could manage — these workplace challenges.

THIS WEEK’S INSIGHT

Feeling annoyed? You’re not alone

There’s so much going on in our lives, our country and around the world, that feeling annoyed makes sense on many levels.

But with the frequency I’m engaging with senior leaders, manager and CEOs who are increasingly frustrated with their annoying teams, colleagues or leaders, I decided to dig into some of the poignant results in this global poll by Kickresume.

While 85% of workers say they deal with annoying colleagues, I wondered what they’re most frustrated about.

Going right to the survey, here are the top five most annoying offenders – and what makes them so irritating to work with, thanks again to Kickresume.

1. Credit stealer (33%): You put in the hard work, but someone else takes the glory. Credit stealers simply undermine team spirit and create an environment where people feel undervalued. This behavior not only annoys coworkers but can also create a toxic work environment where nobody feels safe to share innovative ideas.
2. Micromanager (32%): Close behind the credit stealer, 32% of respondents marked micromanagers as the most irksome personality trait in the office. We all know that one person who just can’t let go and constantly hovers over your work. It’s hard to feel capable and motivated when someone is always second-guessing your every move. This kind of oversight often leads to resentment and can take a serious toll on productivity.
3. Chronic complainer (30%): It surely looks like every team has that one person who can find a downside to even the best situations. Chronic complainers drain the team’s energy and positivity. Their constant negativity can become infectious, spreading gloom and lowering overall morale.
4. Personal space intruder (30%): Everyone values their personal space, especially in a busy office environment. Personal space intruders disrupt your sense of privacy and comfort. Whether they’re hovering over your desk or listening in on private conversations, their behavior can make the workplace feel stressful and intrusive.
5. Lunch thief (27%): It’s hard to believe, some coworkers actually help themselves to their colleagues’ food. The lunch thief doesn’t just take your meal — they steal your trust and peace of mind. This inconsiderate behavior forces everyone to be more guarded, creating an atmosphere of suspicion and frustration. The sheer audacity of swiping someone else’s lunch makes the lunch thief a particularly galling presence in the workplace.

The survey summarizes that what annoys workers the most is the lack of recognition, trust and respect.

THIS WEEK’S TOOL

How to manage annoying people

Partnering with my clients when they’re annoyed, here are the ways they tell me that they deal with their colleagues who trigger them.

First, they breathe.

When they’re most angry, they recognize this isn’t the time to vent. After a breathing exercise, (often box breathing) they take some sort of a break. Walk around the building, hop off a call, regroup.

Second, they set up a conversation.

They remind the annoying colleague that they want their team to succeed. Their goal is to share what they’ve observed and work together to arrive at a strategy so that they can continue to work together in with a stronger relationship.

Third, they reflect on their role.

These leaders are willing to consider what part they may have played in this dysfunctional situation. One client specifically recalled that in a fit of anger he shared unsavory details about one of his colleagues. Those details wound up in the hands of other leaders, information he never intended to reach that level.

Each of the clients reflected that when they taken steps to resolve an annoying intrusion, they have discovered that sometimes the offending person didn’t realize what they were doing. Another changed how people store their food – and created a labeling system that’s in place to this day.

My takeaway

I appreciate the insights I gleaned over the past few weeks from these wise folks. When I’m particularly annoyed, there are times when taking deep breaths and removing myself from a situation can be just what is necessary to change my whole demeanor.

I also know it’s important to go to the next level – so that whatever is happening is addressed. If you notice your productivity is suffering because you’re annoyed, it’s probably time to have that conversation.

Whenever possible, adding humor to the situation can absolutely de-escalate a tough situation. 30+ years ago, I was a new mother and a news anchor, and used the top of the hour break at 7am to pump milk for my newborn. One day, someone looking for creamer wound up using one of those refrigerated bottles. When the aghast offender realized what happened, I brought a sharpie pen to clearly identify those bottles. That never happened again 🙂

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Noel Coward