The Coach's Corner

What are you waiting for?

The Coach’s Corner Newsletter #69

There’s always something that’ll make you wait: a stop light, sourdough bread rising, a promotion, your birthday.

Waiting is defined as,

Delaying action until a particular time or until something else happens.

It’s like watching the pot before the water boils – it seemingly takes forever. Especially when you’re hovering!

In this season of life as an executive coach in the morning and ‘nana’ in the afternoon, many of the life lessons I’m gleaning come from toddlers who teach me by living life.

Timing can be tricky with little ones, especially when they’re hungry and need food. Now. The art of distraction is critical.

When I recently called out to our 4-year old grandson to come to dinner and thanked him for waiting so patiently while we put the meal together, he sat down and laughed.

I wasn’t waiting, Nana, I was building a tower.

And he had.

He had a lot of options, and he chose playing. What a fresh perspective to offer!

THIS WEEK’S INSIGHT

What are you waiting for?

We all are waiting for something, it’s how we deal with this wait that makes the difference. Maybe you can relate to one or all of these situations.

I’ve followed all the protocols. My supervisor collected my references. My new responsibilities have been outlined. The compensation looks fair. Now I’m waiting to find out when the promotion takes effect. The wait is excruciating!

After all the training, hundreds of hours of coaching, mentoring, testing, courses – I’ve submitted my recorded coaching sessions! What a relief. Now I’m waiting to hear from the International Coaching Federation on the status of my MCC credential. This is hard.

We submitted the plans to the city for an ADU after getting the necessary approval from the HOA, finding a reliable builder and lining up certified contractors. Now the wait is on. How much longer?

I’m so excited about the birth or our son, we waited years to get pregnant and now I’m in the final three weeks of this pregnancy. How can these final weeks take soooo long?

These situations are very real for each of these individuals. How they choose to manage this period of time makes an enormous difference.

I’ve been partnering with leaders, execs and moms/dads who recognize that when they turn their attention to what their lives hold for them right now, in the midst of an impending answer, they find room to breathe and return to the reality of functioning in their life and work.

Instead of putting themselves ‘on hold’ they are back in sync with themselves, regardless of the outcome. How did they do that?

 

THIS WEEK’S TOOL

3 ways to enjoy what’s happening now

Martha Beck, author, life coach, speaker and sociologist, arrives at an intriguing conclusion in a podcast titled, “What to do while you’re waiting.”

Waiting is pointless. You delay all your action (when you wait) until something else happens and it’s the delay you’re feeling, the frozenness. But here’s the deal, something else never happens. The only thing that ever happens is what’s happening now.

Borrowing from her thoughts and our grandson’s construction skills, here are three innovative ways to enjoy what’s happening now, rather than focusing on ‘the wait.’

  1. Pay attention to your surroundings.Open yourself up to all the things around you that will benefit from your focused attention.
  2. What else can you do?Keep a list of items handy to tackle when someone cancels a meeting or an appointment is rescheduled. Something goes awry? Go to that list!
  3. Create something.Being creative brings you to the present. Use your skills/talents to write, compose, paint, refresh.

My takeaway

In 2017, I had the privilege of being part of a Master Writing retreat led by Martha Beck. That time, surrounded by amazing writers on their own journeys, was pivotal in my transition to life coaching – in large part because I knew that the core of what I do best, writing, could and would remain a pivotal element of my life and work.

Writing is my way of creating something that allows me to focus in the midst of uncertainty.

Does waiting for an answer rattle me? Sure. And then I remember Beck’s line, “waiting is pointless.”

Waiting with anxiety can paralyze me. When I pay attention to what’s around me, ask myself what else I can do or create something – I am free to work and live as I choose.

How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.

Anne Frank

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