The Coach’s Corner Newsletter #109
As the world spins with events that are hard to keep up with, finding joy as you scroll through news flashes, endure polarizing conversations or experience feelings of helplessness is no easy feat.
But maybe it’s in the throes of these times where you’ll discover joy.
Writing in Psychology Today, Itai Ivtzan, Ph.D. shares a finding from the 2024 World Happiness Report:
Certain types of suffering increase our capacity for joy by helping us build meaning and resilience. The research found that people who faced and processed challenges reported 40 percent higher levels of life satisfaction than those who avoided difficult experiences.
In those moments of sticking through those feelings of helplessness, or leaning into negative emotions, you may find that you have what you need to experience joy. And in a split-second, the joy that unfolds can trigger your entire body to let down and embrace the moment and gratitude for life. You made it through!
THIS WEEK’S INSIGHT
The wisdom and science of joy
When Joel shared how he wanted to experience more joy in his work, he expressed he was looking for a way to slow down, relax and have room to find the joy he used to experience.
I think when I had less responsibility, fewer VPs to report to and more time to be creative, my joy was brimming. Maybe a long vacation would be the best way to recharge my batteries.
I asked him if I could have permission to share what I’d been learning from Dr. Iytzan’s report on joy.
Paraphrasing Dr. Iytzan, he finds that people who spend time on challenging activities requiring full engagement report 31% higher life satisfaction than those who prioritize relaxation. So…what if the activities that light you up aren’t the easy ones, but those that stretch your capabilities?
Joel paused.
That’s not what I expected to hear. But it seriously does make sense. I’m doing work that does inspire me, even though it’s hard. Maybe it’s not the work specifically. It’s the reality that I’ve been losing track of what’s critical, and missing deadlines.
As Joel identified what was most important to tackle, he recognized that doing things one at a time could bring him back to where he used to be.
That’s my action plan. And let’s see if joy is a result. I’ll keep you posted.
THIS WEEK’S TOOL
5 ways to discover joy
Recently I came across the piece, Pathways to Joy, from the late Dr. Barbara Holmes on cac.org.
Holmes is known for her work as a spiritual leader, scholar and advocate for justice. Her book, “Joy Unspeakable: Contemplative Practices of the Black Church,” published in 2004 is relevant today.
Here’s how she suggests you can foster presence and joy.
1. Practice and meditation.
Left to your own devices, the natural state of the human brain is a wandering and critical mind. Meditation helps bring that chaos into a more peaceful state.
2. Awaken to the joy in nature.
Purposely pay attention to sunsets and sunrises, to the sounds of nature, and other expressions of joy in the environment.
3. Appreciate everyday graces.
The sound of children playing, the traffic that won’t let us get home when we want to but allows a pause in our frenetic going.
4. Ritualize transitions.
Births and deaths, transitions from child to teenager, and from teen to adult. Mark these events as special moments of joy. You may be surprised at the numbers of incidents of joy during the ritualization of sad occasions.
5. Connect with your community.
Create spaces of joy when you cannot engender the joy yourself. That joy comes during worship, during fellowship, and even during crisis.
Holmes concludes,
Once you experience joy, once you find those inner pathways, it leaves markers toward those inner resources so that you never lose sight of them again.
My takeaway
I have been working to train my brain, hard-wired to devour news updates whenever possible, to digest news only at certain times of the day. Using this approach, I’ve discovered that I’m able to function for hours at a time not worrying about the next development because I know I will check those sources again. At a given time.
This intentionality gives me the room to experience joy in between. Whether it’s in a conversation with a client, pulling sourdough bread out of the oven, splashing in water with little ones or pulling weeds so that our garden feels vibrant again.
Turns out this is also linked to the science behind joy – which finds that being overly concerned about happiness reduces it. An amazing connection between science and wisdom. Choosing to invest in your work, your life and your relationships opens a pathway to finding joy.
Joy does not simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day.
Henri Nouwen
How do you discover joy? I’d love to hear from you.
