The Coach’s Corner Newsletter #92
We are living through significant political shifts in our communities, our nation and the world. The breakneck speed of changes coming from the nation’s capital is daunting for some and celebrated by others. Neighbors, partners, workplaces, families and marriages are feeling the strain.
Many of you who are wiser and calmer remind me that life is turbulent regardless – with natural disasters, war and famine.
Maybe so. But the people I coach that include leaders, executives, teachers and parents – are feeling tense. About their livelihood, their safety, their ability to speak freely at work, their longing to relate to people across the political aisle. This translates into irritation with family and colleagues, sleeplessness, anger and apathy.
So how do my wise colleagues and friends thrive through the events that they face in these political times, in contrast with other wise colleagues and friends who are sucked into an endless stream of news coverage that leaves them feeling helpless?
Turns out they shift their focus.
Last call:
If you’re free tomorrow morning…join me for my free leadership webinar, “How do you show up?”
Friday, February 28th from 9:00am – 9:30am CT. Sign up here.
THIS WEEK’S INSIGHT
Living through a new political era
When Jill logged into our session, she warned me,
I just have to vent!
Without coming up for air, she went through a list of issues she’s facing as she manages a team of seasoned professionals in a federal agency who are all struggling with the latest back and forth over whether or not they will have continued work.
This is such an emotional roller coaster – and more than anything I’m sensing anger and despair. For them and for me. I feel like I’ve lost the ability to coach my team well, because I really don’t know what to tell them right now.
We sat in silence for a very long 15 seconds – and then I wondered aloud.
What would you like you and your team to be experiencing instead?
As the words came out, Jill took a deep breath.
I’d like us to recall how we’ve endured other threats to our jobs, even in the past decade. I’d like us to work on the things that make lives better for those we serve. I’d like us to ignore the noise that’s taking us away from what we do well.
Where would you like to begin? I asked.
And that’s when Jill found light in this dark conversation. She shifted to exploring what it would take to support her team as they struggle with raw fear about what’s next. She recalled using Martin Seligman’s tool, “Put it in perspective,” using the worst, best and most likely case scenarios to deal with significant challenges when she’s felt stuck.
I’m ready to start planning for the most likely scenario. Let’s do this.
And from there, she began. Not to deny the fear that she and her team have during these uncertain times. But to find that path forward, with support from each other.
THIS WEEK’S TOOL
3 ideas to keep calm and carry on
Jill’s actions were so refreshing. As uncertainty looms, she’s asking herself and her team, “what do I want instead?”
As I’ve been asking that question myself – about how to navigate challenging conversations with loved ones, friends and colleagues from across the political divide, I landed on this article in “The Conversation”,” written by Jeremy Shapiro from Case Western University.
Shapiro offers three ways he works with his clients to cope with what he refers to as political distress:
- Taking a longer view:
Information about American history is relevant to political distress because, psychologically, people evaluate their situations by comparing them with anchors or norms. You compare current dangers and threats with what you’ve faced and survived in the past.
- Wisdom of the Serenity Prayer:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
People need the strength to change what can be changed and the serenity to accept what cannot. Political distress, like many stressors, calls for a combination of both tactics.
- The best things in life aren’t political
…the main sources of human well-being are family, friends, meaningful work, hobbies, the arts, nature, spirituality and acts of kindness. None of these depend on political systems. We can cope with political distress by falling back on the best things in life.
In addition to these great ideas I have cut back on my news consumption, just saying. After a designated time to read the news, I choose to put down my devices.
My takeaway
If I feel like I’m being pulled into a conversation about current events with someone I disagree, my first step is to breathe deeply. As I get grounded, I truly pause. Often taking a few beats to respond.
Because I desire connection with this person over all else, I use those moments to decide how to clarify, challenge or move on. There are times to speak up and there are times to smile and nod or shake my head.
When I refrain from labeling my thoughts as good and another’s as bad – I am able to consider how together we will get through this season of life.
Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Final reminder 🙂
If you’re free tomorrow morning…join me for my free leadership webinar, “How do you show up?”
Friday, February 28th from 9:00am – 9:30am CT. Sign up here.
