The Coach’s Corner Newsletter #75
I had the privilege of raising three sons who played team sports throughout school, college and now in adulthood. Describing them as competitive is an understatement. While each likes to highlight their amazing wins, they also recognize when they’ve literally dropped the ball.
One of them gets hurt, or misses the winning free throw or fails to nail an easy putt.
Watching them over the decades of hard practice and work, none of them ever resorted to faking it until you make it. If they physically couldn’t show up, they didn’t. If they were still in the game, they had no choice but to get back up and finish. Win or lose.
I’m sure they can recall the fine details of their epic failures, since I’ve often heard about what they could have done differently. Still, rather than dwelling on their missteps they’ve taught me how those setbacks truly made their games stronger.
That might mean warming up and protecting their ankle, practicing hundreds of free throws or putts or incorporating ideas from their fellow players/coaches about what they need to do to improve their game.
Those failures were a springboard to making shifts that wouldn’t have happened otherwise.
THIS WEEK’S INSIGHT
Rebounding after a failure
When Julie arrived at our session feeling as if she was “ready to throw something,” we took a few moments to breathe and get grounded.
I needed that. I’m feeling tense because I’m not being heard in my org and I’ve had a pretty lousy year of sales. As head of this department I am not where I want to be and I’m in no position to throw in the towel!
More than anything, Julie wanted a safe space to vent. So when she released all she felt like releasing, she stopped and let out a deep breath.
You know I’ve been holding this inside. It’s out now. So…how can I put this all in its place?
She was ready to explore what she already knows how to do and she landed on two key areas.
Whether or not I gets the buy-in I want from leadership, I’ll continue to share my ideas and thoughts and opinions. And whether or not I win the deal, I know how to engage and sell and collaborate with clients for their best interests.
I let her know how I appreciated her breakthrough, since her relationships with leaders and clients is front and center in her work.
What do you think it means to release the outcome?
I’m remembering something we’ve explored. I know what I know. Here’s what I mean. When I step in and offer my expertise it’s because I’ve been in this industry for more than 20 years. But I’m recognizing that not everyone wants to hear my concerns, and if that’s the case so be it.
How does that line up with how you interact with your clients?
I’m typically looking for that huge deal – to beat everyone in the org. I used to be known for those contracts. But you know what? The industry is changing. I could work on deals I know have a higher chance of closing that would still benefit my team and the org. They may not be as glamorous, but they will help my bottom line.
Julie, you are sounding so relieved in this moment. What’s coming up for you?
I’m going back to what I do best. I speak my mind because things matter to me. But I was getting bogged down in pleasing others so I stayed silent and was seething. That has to change. I’ll share my thoughts and let others decide what they want to do. I also have to keep selling if I’m going to make it here. So rather than going for the major deals, snagging more of those contracts where I’ve built connections will allow me to have the best of both worlds.
I look forward to hearing how her rebounding effort unfolds.
THIS WEEK’S TOOL
Three ways to strengthen your game
Having spent a few decades as a fan of my sons in their sports, considering myself a fan of professional baseball/basketball/football and having been a co-host of a mostly sports-talk radio show for six years, sports metaphors are close to my heart.
Here’s how I’ve learned to rebound and make my game stronger.
- Prepare: this involves stretching, carving out time and a healthy mindset.
- Practice: working out, repetition and drills.
- Produce: show up, get back in the game and do it.
My takeaway
You don’t always have to have an epic fail in your personal or professional life to recognize the need to rebound and strengthen your game.
This week about half of the country is wondering how to step back up to the plate, get back in the game and find their way to the end zone after experiencing an epic loss. The other half is basking in an epic win.
Here you are.
I’m going to prepare, practice and produce. I know what I know, no one can take that away from me.
You have no choices about how you lose, but you do have a choice about how you come back and prepare to win again.
Pat Riley
