The Coach’s Corner Newsletter #80
Have you ever held off on making a decision because you wanted to get input from someone you thought would be super insightful?
What you may find is that these well meaning friends, colleagues, mentors or neighbors are wrapped up in their own decision making impasses. What feels so important to you isn’t high on their list.
See if you can relate to any of these scenarios, as you’re waiting for an answer:
- Deciding on a logo for your new brand.
- Deciding what to wear.
- Deciding what slides to use in a presentation.
- Deciding whether to write a book.
One of the people I respect the most rarely asks me, or anyone, what I think about an idea BEFORE she decides. I’ve watched her check in with others, mull over the findings she collects and then arrive at a decision. Then she’ll share that choice and maybe weigh another opinion if it’s helpful. But she’s not waiting for someone else to decide ‘for’ her. She is deciding on her own.
THIS WEEK’S INSIGHT
It really is up to you
In our session this week, Michael brought up a dilemma he was facing.
I’m ready to share details about a new venture for our team. I’ve been spearheading a project for three weeks, and we ironed out all the details. Everyone’s on board so I reached out for one final ‘thumbs-up,’ but I haven’t heard back from the entire team.
What are you waiting to hear?
I just want to know we’re good to go.
What do you think?
Of course we’re good to go. Everything has been secured, validated and confirmed. Did I mention everyone’s on board?
Yes, you did. So, what else do you need?
I guess I want to be validated by the team, one more time.
Who else might you check in with if they’re not responding?
Just me – it’s my initiative.
And when you check in with yourself…
I’m good to go.
What’s standing in the way of deciding to launch it now?
Just me – it is my decision. Sometimes I make it too hard.
When Michael shifted to taking ownership of his project, instead of waiting for someone else to give him the green light, he knew exactly what to do.
THIS WEEK’S TOOL
4 reasons to stop waiting for someone else to decide
Most of us want to collaborate and feel aligned with another person or team as we move through life and work. Our goal is to reach a consensus that is workable and offers mutual benefit across the board.
But if that collaboration turns into a dependency on others’ contributions, you may find yourself frustrated and stalled.
When you’ve been clear about a goal, set reasonable timelines and communicated what needs to take place – you know that if you need to move ahead you are ready.
- The decision is no longer a priority for the other person.
- The other person doesn’t want to change their mind.
- You’re feeling anxious over the inaction of another person.
- You realize this really is your decision to make.
My takeaway
At the end of the day – we work with people, live with people, engage with people. We want to connect and share our thoughts and get input. But that doesn’t mean we have to wait to make decisions by taking a poll of our circle of ‘people.’
If you’re in a place where you’ve identified what’s important, done your due diligence and are prepared to own your decision, go ahead: choose. Without delivering an ultimatum, you can share what matters about the action you’ve chosen to take.
Because I truly believe that the people I work with are complete and whole, I also believe that they know what to do. As I shine a light on the issues they’re grappling with, they connect the dots beautifully.
That’s how I know for sure that it is up to you to decide. Every single time.
In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.
Theodore Roosevelt
