Story: Putting it off
How do you begin your day and stay focused? Maybe you follow a routine, blocking time for reflection, exercise, school drop-offs, finishing projects, and meeting with your team.
But somewhere in the corner of your mind is that one thing you meant to tackle on Monday. And here it is, Thursday. You still haven’t touched it. It could be a conversation with a team member, a family member, or your boss. You keep avoiding it because you know it’s going to be hard. And with everything else on your plate, the last thing you need is another challenge. You might even convince yourself it’ll somehow take care of itself.
The trouble is, it doesn’t. These unresolved things tend to stay in your head, surfacing when you least expect it. In the checkout line. While brushing your teeth. Or as you nearly drop the mashed potatoes because your mind is spinning on that one thing you’re avoiding.
It helps to remember that science affirms we get to this place because a part of our brain is actually warning that something could go wrong.. Subconsciously, you’re choosing the flight half of “fight or flight” to avoid the discomfort that hard conversations bring.
A business owner I coach recently named what happens when she puts off a conversation she knows she needs to have:
At the end of the day, putting off that tough meeting doesn’t make things better. I end up more stressed, a relationship is strained, and our teams sometimes miss a deadline.
Interval: Name it and break it down
So what’s really behind your hesitation? What’s creating the fear and blocking you from dealing with that “thing” in the room?
Here’s a simple strategy to help you engage instead of avoid:
- Give it a name.
Identify what’s at the core. Is it performance? Accountability? Prioritization? Clarity helps you separate the issue from the emotion. - Choose one next step.
Don’t overwhelm yourself with ten possible fixes. Pick one thing you can do or share to begin resolving the issue.
As you move from huge to manageable, your brain will reward you as you witness in real time how your stress drops. Now that you’ve decided on that one thing to work on, the likelihood of being able to share this in a strategic way becomes possible.
Reflection:
What shifted when you named what you were putting off and chose one step to take?
Before your next meeting, see what happens when you name what you’ve been avoiding and come up with one way to start addressing it. I’d love to hear what step gave you the jumpstart to deal with something you’ve been putting off.
In Leadership Core, I’m tackling everyday leadership challenges with HIIT‑style intervals: short, focused practices you can run between meetings to strengthen how you lead.
