When leaders shift from fixing to coaching their team
Story: Let someone do their job
Age doesn’t matter when you find yourself doing someone else’s work.
I discovered this week that my kindergarten-age grandson knows how to use tally marks. He was counting things in our house: windows, steps, doors, the paws on our dogs. As he moved to the page and began to write down each number using tallies, I was stopped in my tracks when I attempted to show him how to group the lines with a diagonal slash.
Nana, THIS is how you do it. Let me show you.
So, when one of my clients shared an interaction with his boss, I had to smile. Rather than trying to intervene, as I did, his boss knew what to do!
We were facing a challenge when a key launch had a technical glitch. I was called into my boss’s office, ready to hear what our team needed to do to fix the problem. Instead, he looked at me and asked, me how I planned to approach this with the team.
Taking that path inspired him to connect with his team and arrive at a resolution to the issue. By giving them the room to deal with the problem on their own, he shared how empowered he felt in his role and with his team.
We all know this is easier said than done. We are so prone to try to ‘fix’ or ‘speed up’ the process, even when others can truly handle the work. And once they do their own critical thinking, confidence soars.
Today I’d like to share a way to practice how to hold yourself back!
Interval: Start with an open-ended question, again!
When you remind yourself that your team has the skillset to accomplish a task and stay open to how they might solve the problem, it’s easier to let them run with it.
I’ve resolved to withhold my ‘why’ questions at the start of a conversation. Instead, I consider open-ended questions first.
- How…might you plan to approach this task?
- What…other ideas come up for you?
- Where…have you seen this work before?
Choose one of these questions and practice it deliberately before your next 1:1.
The impact of giving your team the power to solve key problems independently often has an unexpected result: your team becomes more comfortable in their own leadership and in their cross-functional relationships.
Reflection:
What are people around me starting to mirror back when I do this consistently?
Think of one conversation this week where you’re tempted to jump in with the answer. What open‑ended question will you use instead? Please share it in the comments so others can borrow from you!
