Defining where you draw the line for yourself, your team and your org
Story: Sharing your limits
A leader approached me this month wanting to get more clarity on balancing how to be flexible in a new role while acknowledging the challenges of being a parent to a newborn and a toddler.
“There’s a lifestyle difference I’ve observed. My SVP doesn’t have kids, so I’m reticent to share the structure I need to have in place to work well AND pick up my young child from daycare at 5pm.”
Because he’d said nothing, he did everything that was asked and was fuming at what he perceived was her insensitivity.
As we explored what he wants most, to be stellar in his role and parent well, he admitted he hadn’t defined when he was free to dive into projects and which times were difficult to manage. Since he knew he wasn’t declining the opportunity, only asking for space to be more flexible in when he addressed an issue, he felt empowered.
At our next session, he shared how he’d outlined his availability and when he could tackle the various initiatives on his plate. By offering a resolution to the situation, his boss recognized his desire to be part of the team without getting special treatment.
Interval: Draft a boundary sentence for your next hurdle
You may think you’ve established limits, UNTIL there’s a situation that comes out of left field that surprises, then frustrates, you. These uncertain areas have the potential to derail you. So, to get ready, here are a few simple boundary sentences that might prompt a fresh response.
- Time management
“I check emails until X (whatever time you officially are OFF the clock) – I’ll get back to you in the morning.”
- A firm no
“That doesn’t work for me. Let’s look at another possibility.”
- Interruptions
“I appreciate your request, but I’m unable to take on that extra project/meeting/whatever right now because my focus is on X. I can step in on this date/time.”
- Professional behavior
“I want to discuss this with you offline, let’s set up a 1:1 meeting.”
Reflection:
Where did my respect for myself or others increase when I set this boundary?
Think of one situation this week where your real-life limits and leadership responsibilities might collide. What boundary sentence might work for you?
