I remember the day when one of my sons responded to something I asked him by challenging me.

“Why are you asking me that, Mom? You know the answer.”

He was right, I hadn’t forgotten. I was trying to fill the void. Make conversation. Appear interested.

Using questions to fill in the gap is so common you may not be aware how often you rely on this tool to engage with people. Even those you love and cherish.

It’s one of the simplest ways to get information from your spouse, your child on the way home from school, your co-worker, a friend you call on the phone.

How was your day?

What did you eat?

Who did you play with?

Are you feeling ok?

Who are you seeing now?

What’s wrong?

If anything unexpected occurred, there’s a good chance you’d already know about it.

I decided to check in with myself. When I see my husband after a long day, or hear from my aunt on the phone, or run into a friend while walking the dogs – what would I like to hear?

Hey great to see you!

I just read your latest post – what fun!

I miss you.

I love you.

You’re not going to believe who I saw last week.

It’s been too long, let’s plan a time to get together.

A touch, a smile, recognition you’re in the room, a hug, knowing you’re being seen and heard. Once that is established, you’re more likely to share just about anything, without being asked.

If you want to test this – consider how you might text someone without asking a question. The connection might surprise you.

How does this resonate with you? (I just have to ask….)